Isn’t Racism Romantic?

The Old Days were a simpler time. Men were Men and Women and non-white people knew their place… as silly caricatures meant to brighten one’s loved one’s day. Because really, what better way to say “I Love You” than by further oppressing minorities? 

the small print says “printed in Germany.” You’re shocked, I know.

oh please, give up on the watermelon imagery already!

And finally, the most racist valentine ever made:

I found this one years ago and it still boggles my mind how something like this was ever OK!

But, African-Americans aren’t the only stereotypable race out there! Honolabur Asian man is arso makee good varrentine! Asian stereotypes are near and dear to my heart, and these bring a tear to my slanty eye.

I love this one. The buck tooth, the laundering… 

Polygamy is HAWT if it’s coming from someone with jaundice! P.S. “sail the yellow sea” sounds like it should be a euphemism for something…

But.. but… Confucius was Chinese and the Yen is Japanese… oh well, all those slanty-eyed people are the same.

Native Americans figured in valentines right up into the 1970s— I remember getting this one in elementary school:

This doesn’t even make sense!

I got the above one in elementary school too. 

Why don’t they ever use their animated .gif powers for good?!?

At least she didn’t say “How?”

I don’t know why this site had to glitterize everything.

OK, this one is racist by proxy— when was the last time anyone used the phrase “honest injun?”

…And what would race-bashing be without including Mexicans?

And of course no racial love-fest would be complete without picking on Jews:

oy!

Dutch people seem to figure heavily in old valentines. Maybe it’s because you get to use puns with tulips that makes them so romantic.

Maybe the Dutch are on cards because they talk funny?

And here’s a couple of Scottish ones, for good measure. 

Scottish people are cheap! Isn’t that funny?

And this one, which isn’t specifically racist… or is it making fun of Canadians?

I can’t help it— I’m a connoisseur of 9/11 jokes. I was a collector of Space Shuttle jokes and Ethiopian jokes as well… I think national tragedies aren’t complete without tasteless humor.

I can’t help it— I’m a connoisseur of 9/11 jokes. I was a collector of Space Shuttle jokes and Ethiopian jokes as well… I think national tragedies aren’t complete without tasteless humor.

theworstthingsforsale:

I understand that “people who collect cat hair” is probably a bigger audience than any of us realize. Right now, someone is stuffing loose cat hair in a bag, their mind racing as they stuff it in their closet on top of their other bags of cat hair, heart pounding, thinking I can’t throw this away. Something bad will happen. 1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3.
So I regret to inform you that there is no self-help portion to this book. It’s just a list of crafts you can make with the cat hair you save because your mind is fucked up. But, hey, if you live in a house with enough cat hair that you can make shit out of the cat hair, maybe you just need a little cat puppet made out of cat hair that fell out of a cat’s body to keep you company. I’m not judging anyone here.
Hahahaha yes I am.

theworstthingsforsale:

I understand that “people who collect cat hair” is probably a bigger audience than any of us realize. Right now, someone is stuffing loose cat hair in a bag, their mind racing as they stuff it in their closet on top of their other bags of cat hair, heart pounding, thinking I can’t throw this away. Something bad will happen. 1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3.

So I regret to inform you that there is no self-help portion to this book. It’s just a list of crafts you can make with the cat hair you save because your mind is fucked up. But, hey, if you live in a house with enough cat hair that you can make shit out of the cat hair, maybe you just need a little cat puppet made out of cat hair that fell out of a cat’s body to keep you company. I’m not judging anyone here.

Hahahaha yes I am.

This is what happens when the Kid takes too long of a nap— I end up doodling. I couldn’t chuck this picture out, even though I have no idea what I’m going to do with it!

This is what happens when the Kid takes too long of a nap— I end up doodling. I couldn’t chuck this picture out, even though I have no idea what I’m going to do with it!

Atheist Propaganda

I made these cartoons years ago and just found them again. Mostly lame, but occasionally funny.

I made this thing and for some reason it just keeps cracking me up. 

I made this thing and for some reason it just keeps cracking me up. 

Früchtchen!

“The 9 Most Insane Board Games of All-Time”